now THIS is asian ingenuity   (stolen from shirliu)

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losangeles.craigslist.org > etcetera jobs > Asian Man to Pretend to be My Fiancee
last modified:Tue May 18 17:37:30 2004

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Asian Man to Pretend to be My Fiancee

Reply to: job-31361178@craigslist.org (forwards to an @yahoo.com address) Date: Sun May 16 15:52:20 2004 Hi. My grandfather is really sick and his last wish is to see that his grand daughter (me) will find a good, Asian man to be my future husband. I'm in my early twenties and very independent, but my family is afraid that my independence will turn an old maid out of me. I just need someone to pretend to be my fiancee so everybody will get off my back. My only requirements are: 1. You must have a stable job/career. 2. Look better then my ex-boyfriend (that's in my discretion). 3. Single--no girlfriend or wife. I don't want any drama out of this. 4. Comfortable around unfamiliar settings or people. 5. Must be straight and blunt. Not a luvvy duvvy guy who cries whenever he sees the sun sets. I would prefer if you're a queer guy, but straight guys are cool too as long as you're not in it for the booty --coz you won't get any!!!! A little about me. I'm just an average Jane, not very pretty and not butt ugly. I'm mean but quiet. I'm nice but rebellious. I think weird but I look normal. Okay. That's just scratching the surface. Email me if you think you qualify so we can set an interview date. Other Details: 1. Contract job is within a year or less 2. Travel will be within California (five hour driving distance, 2-3 family meetings during course of work) 3. Compensatian details will be discussed at interview--or not, if you flat out don't qualify for this position 4. Serious inquiries only Compensation: Negotiable, plus free travel, food, and lodging This is a part-time job. This is a contract job. Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster. Please, no phone calls about this job! Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests. Reposting this message elsewhere is OK. this is in or around California

visit the site yourself:

http://newyork.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/31361178.html

<<warning: very photo-intensive>>

so i spent the past few days working on the kdphi formal slideshow.  the past few years of kdphi formal slideshows have been adobe premiere "oh my god that's so artistic and fancy and they appear to the beat of the music and it's so unbelievably touching!"

then the baton was passed to me, and the ghetto-ass 4-year-old computer i built could not handle premiere.  so powerpoint it was!  hotness!

random sampling of favorites (with stolen kdphi formal 2004 pics thrown in):

Congratulations, Mu Pledge Class!  Cathy and I have pledge kiddies now...aren't they cute? :)

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

If your mission in life is not already to preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!

How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

yes!  i am now validated by a quizilla quiz!

for any poetry lovers out there without the time, talent, or desire to write their own:

i love how my poems end in horribly pessimistic or apathetic ways: "it's time for the axe to fall" and "never mind."  haha

and 2001's Sexiest Geek Alive:
"How does it feel to be The Sexiest Geek Alive?"
"It feels great! I wish I could upload the experience so every geek could enjoy it."

wearing a PVC corset with a printed-circuit board pattern and a sliderule strapped to her thigh, ellen spertus counted to 37 in binary on her fingers for the talent portion.  her license plate says "V EQ IR" and she once played softball for Microsoft's Runtime Errors team. 

ah, geeks :)